Speechless

It goes beyond my own expression of heart sometimes. Listening to some music, i can’t help but feel overwhelmed by the whole moments when your arms run over. The way you hold. The way you are so concern when even alittle bit of your arms hit my head for a while. The way i appear to be so precious to your and your heart leaves me speechless many times. Sitting down today, having breakfast and watching TV. You enveloped my mind. The tape started to roll in my heart. The good and bad moments. The trying moments and also the time when i push you to the straw of returns. oh how it hurts my heart. How it tore me apart. I don’t ever want to do that again. Its a moment a that passed that should not be mulled over anytime. Yet deep within me, i want you to know it serves as a moment that awaken my slide. I don’t want to hurt you that much.

Words can come across as careless whispers. Whispered just at the moment that feels magical. Yet the worth weighed low and faltering. Thats something where fondness does not apply to my world. I don’t want to feel a moment and express an extension without any riddle to know what is in the world. Many times when things are so good its so easy to forget the brokenness, the most important and the rational. We tend to overlook and float over the hard surfaces. Its hysterical when i think about it sometimes. The way the rythmn of love carries you over a moment and overcomes your many other moments. Writing this right now can’t help some silly giggly chuckles to escape me somehow. Its ironic how this chemistry in connection with love does weigh people over from behind. I find it a tickle. hahahaha…

Stucked in that moment i felt my world was going blur. My heart was in jumbles and my mind fixed on floaters. hahaha..It wasn’t as funny when i was stucked in the moment. It was alittle hard to pull over. It was alittle hard to control my fever. I was alittle all over love and i was going topsy turvy drunked in his shirt. I could not get enough of his fever. I wanted more to embrace my rhythm. I wanted more to drink close to his momentum. It was really a tiring, exciting yet funny moment. Funny in the way i felt like a high school girl being swept off her feet and having all her priorities jumbled up to even prosper. The big girl in me was trying hard to keep a hold on her. Yet the little one was too agile and strong for me to take over. I was pretty mulled over my season. Cupid’s arrow must surely be strucked with some secret crazy potion. lol…I was strucked in love. Unbelievable yet totally on top of the world. =P

I used to be a very precise girl. I have my list of wants and wanted. I have framed them within for many years. I go by ticks and approvals. I don’t really to take my own decision without any concrete reason. I had a plan for me that i thought would work. And i was also waiting on a plan that i placed many hopes that it will work. I believed in extra-ordinariness. What the world would not perceive as possible, i am aggressive enough to demand its not impossible. Things can happen!I don’t usually get over when i see a purpose. And all these years, i was working on that reason. As years passed by, the reasons started losing strength only to pull over. The seasons came in and out. The moments went in and parked. I walked along wishing within my heart. Soon things turned over. Things seemed able. I was pretty much disorientated as much as i hate to admit. Did not know what it or i was really worth. I went about the motion.

Soon after, connections started. And i ride along the rhythm. It does not seem to have a concrete answer. Disappointment did set in with wonder. Years passed and i grow older. I don’t just settle. I see practicality against wishes. I see reasons against momentum. There does not seem any way things are gonna jingle. I pulled over and stopped a moment. My bday passed and i decided. Its now or never. I was surprise by a few injections. I was surprise my heart was opening to another. Yet i was in great denial. My friend would happily declare the truth in my denial. She on the other hand was pretty much in favour of injecting predictions. lol..If the bet she made worked at that moment, she would be alittle richer. Bummer for her and smart me~ to be stubborn.. I saved alittle..hehehe.. Anyway what she insisted happened. My heart opened. I was attracted to another and was falling in love with another. =P Every part of me wanted to run away from it. I thought i was must be crazy to even think this kinda of rhythm. My road prolong. I was alittle irritated by the mindset of my friend that there is gonna be love involved with her teasing and my insistence that its not gonna happen. Life surprises. In your deepest moment, in your unexpected moments and in your most judgemental moments. Times that you never predicted happens only to pull you over and give you a reminder that things don’t always work to your agenda. =P i wonder when i forgot that fact in a moment. Too strong in my world i did not want another’s agenda. And true enough there is a time that proves me to not forgot whats real.

The emotions were running over. And the feeling increasing unexpectedly. Soon i faced the factor. Indeed i am interested and wanted another. I took a chance in expression to get me out of the rumble. And it became a union. Sighs..Seriously magical..this thing called love and how it comes in connection. Brings me back to how cupid actually works. its been a blessing beyond my own comprehension. My love is an extra ordinary person. He leaves me breathless..

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