A Measure Of Me

I miss writing and having the liberty to express me. It was such a pleasure in the past to strip and write the flow of my heart out loud. I guess there are seasons when thoughts run dry and inspiration runs out. I am starting to get in touch with the feel again. Its delighting yet limited due to the times the thoughts come flowing in. Writing in my great escape, great relaxation at times and also great way of clearing the mist in my head to see some clear blue sky. I miss those times. Those times when i dance at my own heart. Great memories that passed me by. I have to say posting on blogger.com did give me more kick than WordPress. Perhaps its just a matter of getting used to things around here. The system, the expressions, the changes and even the way things work around here. The fundamentals.

It’s not so much how many people read my blog i guess. It’s more on how i get to express myself. That one important aspect  that first kickstart my desire to write. Its been a great pleasure to my heart.   It’s a place of mine where i have my own mind. A certain kind of freedom that i feel each one of us need sometimes. The ability to just write whatever that your heart speaks out with a certain kind of flow that sometimes only bring understanding to your mind. But if there was anyone who stumbled, read ya stuff  and find some joy in sight. Thats a plus to my subconscious mind.

Things has been very topsy turvy as of late. I was not sure if my priorities were in top form. It was in fact all rolled up in a misty cloud. I was pretty caught up with many things. At the same time, anxiety was parked at the back of my mind. I miss my heart, my mind and my life. I guess it’s all in a measure of time before everything starts to run.

Certain thoughts and pokes were being triggered in my mind. People particularly and the treasure of love and respect they deserve. At times when we don’t do things right, we tend to shun the reality that lurks behind. We hide underneath it all and try to make excuses to what really is going on. And questions demand my answers at certain points. And this are moments that stops me in my tracks to know who i have been fooling all along. Perhaps this is not the way how things should go. Yet mistakes, failures or folly i guess is just a step towards discovering the right way to do things, approach things and so call work things. I am learning and have to confess and admit that am pretty lost about certain fields. I am not sure why i am keeping away some things. Perhaps i need to reevaluate certain things thought no excessively since it would be pretty unhealthy. Time seems to be the only tick that can predict my wish. I crave placings.

It is one thing to speak and express me yet it’s a totally different and more effective thing to write me. I see a future in it. And i like the fact that it works with me. I don’t really enjoy talking without being concrete. I give a care about what i see as i speak. And to just speak lavishly without accomplishing does worry me. I don’t like it. hehe.. The word is Learning…..I have a long way to go when it comes to this. But i am hungry to be such an individual whose words goes further than just the wind. At least that way, there is some concreteness people can hold on to when it comes to speech. Lets hope there will be a time for it.

There are totally a twirl of things that i have messed up recently. Lost my focus and tried to escape into another world forgetting the worth. I really hope there will be some mercy left for me to have been swept away by the winds. Reality does hold so much more taste to things. The efforts, the time, the feels, the waves of high and lows and most of all how people just don’t deserve your shit.  I feel like i am back to a world of mistiness that calls for some attention. Tell u something, i am trying to think positive. Leave it to me.

*sighs really.

It’s interesting when i think how being too sure of life or yourself can be alittle scary. Since i saw how the twirl of things does steal you completely leaving you hanging clueless about things. I guess it’s all about waking up from a dream.

Time does speak

And i do see how the mist is clearing.

Its coming.

 

Cheeries!

 

Gwen Stefani was on my mind today. A song i love of hers.